I've been lacking the motivation to post the past day or so, which explains my absence. All of today and yesterday, but most severely these past few hours, I have felt empty. Hollow. Disappointed. As if I should be waiting for something to happen. The longing for some sort of anticipation is painful. It's like loving someone who can't reciprocate the affection. Not speaking from personal experience, but I can only imagine that this must be a similar feeling.
Hopefully it's only your average girl mood swings because if this is the start of a habit, then I'm in deep trouble. I don't know how much more of this inner struggling I can endure. Not even yoga class today helped.
I need a vacation. Desperately. Haven't been on a plane in forever. I miss the tedious excitement of packing bags and the frustrations of airport parking and the queasy sensations induced by take off and the reassuring voices of our pilot or the first few steps of foreign territory once you land or the sound the hotel door makes when you slide your room key through the slot or how everything you see or do is somehow more adventurous when you are far away from home. So many things to want. I sound selfish. Now I'm upset with myself. Nothing that isolation, youtube videos, and a good night's sleep can't take care of. I've recently become obsessed with meekakitty. She's adorable. And I've always loved communitychannel, whatthebuck, and kevjumba. So there you have it. My youtube subscriptions, basically.
I should like to think that I'm ending this blog post on a more optimistic note, rather than a sorrowful sound. So, no worries because everything will work itself out eventually.
Have a wonderful Friday, everyone.