Thanks for the sick advice. I decided on two tablets of "non-drowsy" sudafed. Less than half an hour later, I was dead asleep in my bed.
Much better for an hour after I woke up, then back to bad. I'll be taking two more tablets later. Hopefully, that will do the job.
As for my mayo magicness, I had mayonnaise rubbed all over my hair and scalp today by my mom! GROSS, RIGHT????????!!!!!!!?!?!?
Apparently, my mom did that all the time when she was young. Her hair is rather smooth and silky. After letting the mayo sink in and taking a shower, it came out as soft as . . . real strands of silk!
Isn't that just interesting?